RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

The Bolthole's monthly 1,000 word story competition.

RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby J D Dunsany » Sat May 21, 2011 9:36 pm

VOTING IS NOW OPEN

Once again, there have been no multiple entries to think about and, consequently, no nomination period. So, we'll go straight to voting...

You have 4 votes to cast and you need to do so by posting your preferences in descending order - your first choice is listed first, second choice is listed second etc. Points will be awarded in the following manner:

1st place will get 5 points
2nd place will get 3 points
3rd place will get 2 points
4th place will get 1 point

The votes will be totaled up at the end of the competition and the winner (or winners) crowned and their story (or stories) enshrined in the winners' thread. In the event of a tie, all tied entries will win and earn a place in the thread.

Please be clear in your voting and please use all your votes.

If you have any questions, feel free to post them here. If you haven't already commented on the story thread, feel free to do so here.

The voting deadline is 2100BST on Thursday 2nd June . The story thread can be found here.

Let the voting begin!

JDD
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Stuart000X » Sat May 21, 2011 9:46 pm

Story Index




Page 1




The Crypt And The Carrion – Stuart000X

Gold Lust – Atlantic

Even In Death – Phalanx

Here Be Dragons – Raziel4707

Et In Oblivia Ego – J D Dunsany

Echoes – Ballistichimp

Works Of Art – Tyrant



Page 2




The Last Witness – Gundi da Grot

Apotheosis – Mossy Toes

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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Stuart000X » Sat May 21, 2011 10:01 pm

1st Here Be Dragons – Raziel4707

I thought your story had all the elements it could want. Treasure hunt, mythical creatures, like I said earlier I get fond memories and images of films like Jason And The Argonauts and Clash Of The Titans in my head when I read this.

2nd Gold Lust – Atlantic

Your story was an atypical tale of treasure hunters getting greedy, and being paid for it with their lives. There was a good fusion and friction between the characters to both like and dislike them each for their flaws and strengths.

3rd Works of Art – Tyrant

I thought this story was well constructed and well thought out. It was blunt and simplistic, but it was in keeping to the savagery of the World Eaters, and to have it any other way would have made them sound soft or cultured. They simply destroy because they can and must. Any other consideration isn’t even on the table, and it shows perfectly in this tale.

4th Echoes – Ballistichimp

While most have gone on to use artefacts, buildings, and other assortment of objects as their Ancient Wonder, you have used Angron, the revered and terrible Primarch of the World Eaters. He is old, and the setting fits the bill for both the prelude and forthcoming arrival. There is no aftermath, but then again, there is never an aftermath for anyone to tell once Angron enters the field.

I would like to make a special mention of J D Dunsany’s Et In Oblivia Ego, for while it didn’t make the selection of my top four, it was a good contender, and is well presented with its description and idyllic setting. Well done :)
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Mossy Toes » Sat May 21, 2011 10:18 pm

A question--with so few entries this month, do we really need 4 votes each? A regression to 3 choices would seem to make sense, to me.
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby J D Dunsany » Sat May 21, 2011 10:59 pm

Mossy Toes wrote:A question--with so few entries this month, do we really need 4 votes each? A regression to 3 choices would seem to make sense, to me.


I thought I made it fairly clear (perhaps on the shoutbox, to be fair), that the four vote system was going to stay regardless of the number of entries. (Within reason.) Ten stories is probably as low as I'd like to go, but I do like the fourth vote - it means more people get recognition for their efforts.

Oh, and I'm glad you liked my entry, Stu. Your comments are much appreciated. :)

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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Raziel4707 » Sun May 22, 2011 8:38 am

1st Gundi – The Last Witness.

2nd JDD - Et In Oblivia Ego

3rd Tyrant – Works of art.

4th Mossy Toes - Apotheosis.


A low turnout, but a hell of a standard. Special mentions to everyone else, there wasn't a single story that I didn't consider for my top four.

Stuart, thanks man! Really glad you enjoyed it!
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Commander Shadow » Sun May 22, 2011 7:08 pm

Even with the low turn out (my bad for not getting anything in) the quality of submissions demands recognition, great job everyone.

1- Mossy Toes- Apotheosis

I was awestruck by the beauty of the dying ship, much better than some of the published Navy work i've read from BL actually

2- Raziel4707- here be dragons

Oh those crafty Slann. I really enjoyed the play on "dragons" and the breif onesided battle, good job.

3 J D Dunsany- Et in Oblivia Ergo

extremly chilling. Especially the disapearance of the techpriest and the seeming loop that Jalx seems to be in.

4-Tyrant- Works of Art

loved the garlands' destruction. They were there to be... not quite sure (beautiful? like some monument or what not) and we destroyed them anyhow. Great work.
- And there arose from the abyss a terrible beast and the armies of man were laid low by the walls of the ancient city. The ground shook and the skies trembled and all knew as the beast had come forth and that the end of time was upon them.

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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Ballistichimp » Mon May 23, 2011 11:45 am

I will echo the sentiment of 'Low turnout-High Quality'!

A prompt that at first seemed pretty open and easy but proved to be surprisingly difficult when you started to think about it!

Anyway ...

1st - Mossy Toes - Apotheosis
Brilliant stuff! Not enough is made of the machine-spirit concept in a lot of the BL books and this take on the ship's sentience in its failing moments is artfully crafted. Well done!

2nd - Tyrant - Works of Art
Very World Eaters, very Imperial. Angron SMASH! I liked the style in which the story was told, like the recitation of a story. I think that lends itself well to the Heresy era.

3rd - Gundi da Grot - The Last Witness
A really interesting concept handled well! I also very much approve of the typically 40k ending message whereby the 'cult' is suppressed for actually knowing the truth.

4th - J D Dunsany - Et in Oblivia Ergo
A piece that had a strangely ethereal quality to it that was at once intriguing and horrifying. Probably for the best that the Imperium doesn't inherit any wonders, they would only break them anyway.

Nicely done chaps!
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Pipitán » Mon May 23, 2011 12:00 pm

Even though I haven't entered for a while (next month, for sure!), I thought it was high time I contributed something, and 10 stories doesn't take that long to read. Here are my votes (and mighty hard it was too - I don't think it's ever been truer to say that any of this month's stories could have got my votes in other months, such was the standard):

1st - Mossy Toes - Apotheosis - beautifully written, fantastic concept, and profoundly touching. Simply a superb piece of writing.

2nd - Ballistichimp - Echoes - Great ideas and descriptions, and, as others have said, the use of Angron was inspired. I also loved the futile bravery of the Hawk Lord at the end - very Space Mariney. Highly enjoyable read.

3rd - Gundi da Grot - The Last Witness - brilliant idea, very thought provoking, and well-written as usual. Most curveballish. I also liked the addendum a lot.

4th - Tyrant - Works of Art - Just an all round excellent entry. I liked how you highlighted the hypocrisy and philistine-tendencies of Man. Quite a deep theme, as well.

Honourable mention goes to JDD's Et In Oblivia Ego, which only just missed out on points.
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Mossy Toes » Mon May 23, 2011 8:45 pm

1. Works Of Art – Tyrant
2. The Last Witness – Gundi da Grot
3. Echoes – Ballistichimp
4. Et In Oblivia Ego – J D Dunsany
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Mossy Toes » Mon May 23, 2011 10:08 pm

Also, thanks to everyone who's voted for me so far! I'm glad to have left an impact on you as readers...

JDD: perhaps it's time to remove the "NOW OPEN" from the (locked) voting thread?
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Raziel4707 » Mon May 23, 2011 10:39 pm

Done.
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby DarthDrac » Tue May 24, 2011 1:11 am

1. The Last Witness – Gundi da Grot
2. Works Of Art – Tyrant
3. Apotheosis – Mossy Toes
4. Et In Oblivia Ego – J D Dunsany
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Stuart000X » Tue May 24, 2011 1:38 pm

Are we going to place the next competition's themeword up soon?
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Raziel4707 » Tue May 24, 2011 1:43 pm

JDD may be a bit busy for a few days, which really won't hurt us given the low turnout we had this time around. Sadly, the open submissions window seems to kill the competition and the forum's fan-fic output quite a bit anyway. :)
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Stuart000X » Tue May 24, 2011 2:55 pm

Raziel4707 wrote:JDD may be a bit busy for a few days, which really won't hurt us given the low turnout we had this time around. Sadly, the open submissions window seems to kill the competition and the forum's fan-fic output quite a bit anyway. :)


kk
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby J D Dunsany » Tue May 24, 2011 3:57 pm

Thanks for that, Raz.

I made a post on the mods' forum just saying that, due to some ongoing family stuff, I won't be around quite as much as I'd like to be, so, if it takes a bit longer to get a reply on something, then I'd just ask you to be patient.

Given the relatively low turnout on last month's comp, next month's comp will feature a more traditional and straightforward single word prompt which, I think, fans of both main settings (I'm still waiting for a Blood Bowl entry, you know - I really am) will be able to get their teeth stuck into. But you're not going to hear it till Monday, I'd imagine.

So, just a little more patience, Stu... :)

And all will (eventually) be revealed...

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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Jelboy » Wed May 25, 2011 8:15 am

Damn the emperor's crusted cadaver, but I couldn't find the time to write an RIAR this month. Enjoyed reading though, really enjoyed the reading!


The Crypt and the Carrion by Stuart 000X
An interesting tale into darkness and madness, a dream test by an ancient Daemon sword of Chaos. Apart from a few typos (in the early version I read), this was a darkly satisfying story that had a 'swords and sorcery' feel to it. It could easily have been changed to Warhammer, and the protagonist to a Champion of Chaos. I was engrossed throughout.


Gold Lust by Atlantic
Hugely enjoyable tales of dwarves, and dragons and goldlust. Well written with little fault to find.

Even in Death by Phalanx
An interesting tale of an assault marine preparing for travel in a transporter, and reminiscing on previous combats. I think this tale could have had a little more editing (for example the slight overuse of 'thinking back' in the text: Thinking back through his previous engagements, he felt a sense of nostalgia, thinking back to the days of being led into battle by his sergeant, infiltrating enemy lines and sowing the seeds of chaos before the main force hit as a Tenth Company scout). I also left the story on the first read, unsure of the physical difference in the marine since his near death experience.


Here be Dragons, Raziel4707
kudos for writing a lizardmen story. It's good when people attempt something out of the ordinary. What awesome power the mage possessed! I do wonder whether it would take time for the water to sink away and rise into a tidal wave, and that final wave would probably wipe out the entire temple complex too! Despite this criticism I like the story and have marked it up slightly in my marking to reward your attempt at this species.


Et In Oblivia Ego by J D Dunsany
He he, couldn't they have tried using 'Mellon' to open the door? Not the most perfect of application, but in concept this story is the most entrancing I've read so far this month. Proper science fiction - with mysterious portals, empty cities, and the clever reoccurring nature of events at the end.

Echoes, by Ballistchimp
A fairly simple tale, but again your style of writing is sublime. You really do have a way to make the sentences sing. Your descriptive narrative hums with clever use of verbs and economical adjectives. You are a rising star and may ascend from these forums in time into the swirling coils of BL-writeytypeness.


Works of Art by Tyrant
An incredibly original tale which juxtapositions hard scifi with warhammer 40k. I love everything about this, even the ending which makes me think about the heretic space marine's view of xenos. I always read about them focussed on fighting the Emperor's force, but yes they would hate xenos still. I didn't think anything would top Ballistchimp's entry, but I've decided to opt for supreme sci fi idea over supreme writing ability (this time).

The Last Witness by Grundi da Grot
The shaman who did not want to join his brothers to be reborn as the Emperor? Fantastic idea and well executed. What incredible stories this month. The standard keeps rising. In a previous month this story might have won, unfortunately this time it is just one gem amongst a hoard. Seriously, if the Black Library wanted to produce an anthology 'Snippets from Void' which included 100 x 1000 word entries covering all aspects of warhammer 40k - several stories this month would be worthy - and well worth the read to the warhammer 40k public.


Apotheosis - Mossy Toes
An Imperial warship coming truly self aware, interesting concept. The end when the warship speaks of her fear is the most poignant, and raises the entire story another notch. Well done.


Friend by Darth Drac
Emperor, I hate this month's writing, yet I love it. Each new story an unexpected treasure, and another re-ordering of my final scoring. What a great tale this was Darth - encompassing cabal, necron and iron men! A touch more editing to improve the flow of the read and this would have jumped one or two notches. Like several tales this month, removing the warhammer elements would have left a perfectly serviceable science fiction story capable of holding its own with those of Analog, Asimov and their ilk.

So, there can only be one, right (or maybe four - depends how you look at it).

1st Work of Art by Tyrant
2nd Echos by Ballistchimp
3rd Gold Lust by Atlantic
4th Friend by Darth Drac

The highest quality RIAR for me, so far. No bad entries, 3rd and 4th place was a struggle to place and could have also gone to Grundi and Dunsany. Why buy a science fiction magazine when there is this to read?
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Phalanx » Wed May 25, 2011 8:35 am

Jelboy wrote:Even in Death by Phalanx
An interesting tale of an assault marine preparing for travel in a transporter, and reminiscing on previous combats. I think this tale could have had a little more editing (for example the slight overuse of 'thinking back' in the text: Thinking back through his previous engagements, he felt a sense of nostalgia, thinking back to the days of being led into battle by his sergeant, infiltrating enemy lines and sowing the seeds of chaos before the main force hit as a Tenth Company scout). I also left the story on the first read, unsure of the physical difference in the marine since his near death experience.


I know this isn't the feedback thread, but I gotta say, I'm not sure how many more hints I could have dropped at what he was. The weapons he checked; the armour he wore and how it reacted; the fact he was dropped in a drop-pod, alone; the weapons he fired at the end. I know I didn't say "Dreadnought" anywhere, but everyone who spoke to me about it got it.
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Re: RiaR: Ancient Wonder VOTING THREAD

Postby Pipitán » Wed May 25, 2011 8:45 am

Phalanx wrote:
Jelboy wrote:Even in Death by Phalanx
An interesting tale of an assault marine preparing for travel in a transporter, and reminiscing on previous combats. I think this tale could have had a little more editing (for example the slight overuse of 'thinking back' in the text: Thinking back through his previous engagements, he felt a sense of nostalgia, thinking back to the days of being led into battle by his sergeant, infiltrating enemy lines and sowing the seeds of chaos before the main force hit as a Tenth Company scout). I also left the story on the first read, unsure of the physical difference in the marine since his near death experience.


I know this isn't the feedback thread, but I gotta say, I'm not sure how many more hints I could have dropped at what he was. The weapons he checked; the armour he wore and how it reacted; the fact he was dropped in a drop-pod, alone; the weapons he fired at the end. I know I didn't say "Dreadnought" anywhere, but everyone who spoke to me about it got it.


I didn't get it, first read through.
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