Tide of Damnation

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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Ghurlag » Sat May 28, 2011 2:42 pm

Well, on the basis that I wasn't told not to, and we're still waiting for Imperial characters, I drew up a bio for that Ordo Xenos character. He may be dismissed at a whim!

Inquisitor Elleke Boehmer

Appearance: Boehmer has the look of a man in his late fifties. Cropped grey hair and a short beard frame a weathered face, with his intense green eyes appearing like gems set in bark. Being of middling height and no great physical size, he tends to dress in dark colours, favouring a customised flak jacket and a black leather overcoat.

Equipment: Boehmer carries a plasma pistol and a long-bladed dagger, both of which he appears to be adept at the use of. Unusually for an Inquisitor, he has gathered no permanent retinue, tending to temporarily adopt members of the local staff. Over the last few years, however, he has employed a number of gun-servitors, servo-skulls and other mechanical devices, including surveillance equipment, which point to a profitable relationship with the Adeptus Mechanicus.

Personality: Boehmer is a quiet man, with a studious bent, but is somehow able to project an aura of authority when he speaks. He occasionally dabbles in witty banter, and years of work with the Inquisition have resulted in him being extremely difficult to shock. At times friendly, and at others merciless and authoritarian, he seems to switch his attitude to whatever best suits his mood and needs.

Biography: Elleke Boehmer's rise through the Ordo Xenos is one of undramatic but consistent success. A career dominated by careful observation, planning and a number of well-executed campaigns has granted him the grudging acknowledgement of all but the most radical of his colleagues.

Often called upon to arbitrate matters internal to the Inquisition, he is known as a fair but unflinching judge. Having no human to account for but himself makes him difficult to sway.

On the ground, Boehmer tends to avoid the cloak-and-dagger approach many of his fellows adopt, and instead inserts himself as an independent observer in the local command structure, supplementing official reports with his own information, and supplementing official commandeered troops with his own mechanical bodyguards. His intrusion is often inoffensive, and his advice invaluable.

When news of the Tide reached the Inquisition, it was decided that such a major xenos incursion necessitated investigation, and Elleke Boehmer was dispatched to the Olynthus subsector to aid in the campaign against the Enemies of Mankind

As the misty veil of Albion is cast aside, we turn our gaze to the war-torn island of Albany, where the Red King vies with his former master for the control of a realm in dire threat.
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby LordLucan » Sat May 28, 2011 3:13 pm

Loving it Ghurlag! Another interesitng character. His no-nonsense attitude and extreme individualism would be a very interesting modificaiton to the character dynamic.

Perhaps his investigations start to lead to him believing that the orks themsevles were not behind this sudden surge of an unprecendented number of hulks in the region...
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Ghurlag » Sat May 28, 2011 3:19 pm

An interesting angle, LL. The Ordo would likely be interested in gathering information on what prompts the greenskins into making attacks like this, so it would make sense for it to be one of the first things he investigates. I was also considering the possibility of him being interested in observing how the genestealers infiltrate Ork societies, but your angle is more plausible for the battlefield scenario.

As the misty veil of Albion is cast aside, we turn our gaze to the war-torn island of Albany, where the Red King vies with his former master for the control of a realm in dire threat.
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby LordLucan » Sat May 28, 2011 3:23 pm

Genestealers are another interesting issue for 'behind the lines' as it were. A further complication to proceedings.
Check out my debut fantasy novel from Fox Spirit Books, The Hobgoblin's Herald (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hobgoblins-Herald-R-Aston/dp/1910462047). If you've read it, please rate and review it on amazon; I'd be eternally grateful. The sequel, Eater of Names, is out in 2018, so watch this space.
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Commander Shadow » Sat May 28, 2011 5:24 pm

King Theasion wrote:Very well Ghurlag, your input would still be appreciated though :)

An dwarves? I'm not sure what you're on about Shadow :?


Maybe it was elves, i distinctly remember a group story (honor reclaimed) where there was some good writing about dwarves/elves... anyhows..

I'll have my bio up in a second. I'll be following the format set by the rest i suppose.
- And there arose from the abyss a terrible beast and the armies of man were laid low by the walls of the ancient city. The ground shook and the skies trembled and all knew as the beast had come forth and that the end of time was upon them.

"Shadow is always right, except when he tries to save his men from charging orks" - Ang
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby King Theasion » Sat May 28, 2011 5:34 pm

I was generally the High Elf chap, I seem to remember that's was fergo's group story, and he often wrote dwarves so it'd be an easy mistake to make.
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Commander Shadow » Sat May 28, 2011 6:22 pm

My mistake, i beg your forgiveness :)

here's my bio. Tried to make him offset Lady Winter, even if his is just a low Colonel


Knight-Commander Fallak LeVan

Baron’s Eldest
Commanding Officer of the 232nd Fenn Rifles
Glory Hound
Loyal Dog



Appearance: Sir LeVan is tall, broad, and heavy set. He boasts a face covered in scars and burns, a shaved head, and a near perpetual bead growth. The knight-commander’s eyes are a brilliant green, shinning from a head disfigured by war. He has an incredibly muscular build, a result of a lifetime of training since birth to be a warrior. Fallak walks with an air of superiority bred into him since his childhood on Fenn. He is a giant, towering over his men. When he walks it is said the earth trembles and even the bravest will not meet the burning gaze of his eyes. This however, is most likely exadgeration, despite whatever presence he does hold.

The Knight-Commander is accompanied by Squire-Adjacent Dominic, a young man, thin and wiry, Master of the Banner Vonborin, a handsome charming man, High Yeoman Baens, a short stocky commoner, Signalman Corin, another commoner, and Father Lorzana.

Fennari regiments


There is a great divide between the appearance (in and out of battle) between the noble officers and the common, generally serf soldiers. The nobles fight in ornate carapace armor and high quality power and bolt weapons while at all other times they wear a mixtures of fabrics and furs. Of the commoners the only similarities in uniform are large brown trench coats, each man supplements himself with whatever he thinks can protect him and what he can find or purchase. This leads to a mixture of flack-jackets as well as wrought metal and leather armor. They generally wear metal wide brimmed, sallet helmets and are for the most part armed with stub weaponry, as opposed to las based ones. The armor and arms of the common soldier will differ from regiment to regiment as some lords will dig deeper into their pockets than others for the protection of their men. LeVan’s soldier are not the worst protected, but they maintain stubguns and crude, heavy plate armor due to the limited purse of their commanding officer. Throughout all Fenn regiments there are a great number of priests, following the Church of the Emperor Ascendant, the cult prominent on Fenn. All Fennari are deeply religious, regardless of which fief or dukedom they come from.


Equipment

In battle he dons the silver, gold trimmed carapace armor passed down through his family for generations, a hand and a half power sword that was the ancient heirloom of his forefather Lord General Doan LeVan, defender of Fenn and Commander of the Mustered Legions. He also carries a bolt-pistol, the same carried by his grandfather on the fields of Ullor.

His dress uniform consists of a ceremonial green jacket that can barely seem to contain him, and black pants. The pistol and sword are both sheathed in ornate leather and bronze and he wears on his head and iron ringlet signifying his service to the Emperor in battle.

Personality
Despite his brutal appearance LeVan is a kind and gentle man, he cares about his men, both noble and common (albeit to different degrees) and is fiercely loyal to them and others that come from Fenn. He is a deeply religious man, occasionally quoting scripture when confronted or yelled at. The Knight-Commander is a learned, cultured man, a near polar opposite what he looks like.

In battle, or when he gets heavily drunk, he is a vicious killer, using any means to kill his foe. While his personal weapons are formidable he has been rumored to have strangled an ork to death during the Veraya Campaign and was personally seen to beat several greenskins to death with his bolt pistol. His Squire-Adjacent tries his hardest to keep the Commander from drinking as there is a bad history, though a hushed up one, of drunken rages that have left several dead and injured.

Biography
Born to Baron Saulan LeVan in the rocky northern baronies of Fenn’s main continent he was raised from birth to be a warrior and a leader of men. Fallak always hated his father, a man he viewed as a weakling because he did not serve the Emperor. When the 232nd Rifles was mustered he gladly left his homeworld behind, eager to live up to the names of his long line of Imperial Guard ancestors, the common serfs and men at arms drafted to serve in the newly founded regiment were not as pleased.

In his first campaign on Veraya against the orks the young man got his first taste of modern Imperial war. He loved it, leading his men through some of the toughest fighting seen by the Guard forces in the history of that conflict. The 232nd was present at the storming of Uan’s Rock, where the ork Warlord choose to make his stand and the Knight-Commander slew dozens of greenskins personally. Despite the advance of his men, a different regiment, the 89th Zian Old-Guard were responsible for the death of the warlord, leaving LeVan feeling cheated and humiliated.

When the ten remaining Fenn regiments on Veraya were sent to the Olynthus subsector LeVan knew the Emperor had given him another chance to find glory. He is anxious for the conflict, ready to kill in His name.
- And there arose from the abyss a terrible beast and the armies of man were laid low by the walls of the ancient city. The ground shook and the skies trembled and all knew as the beast had come forth and that the end of time was upon them.

"Shadow is always right, except when he tries to save his men from charging orks" - Ang
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Maugan Ra » Sat May 28, 2011 11:24 pm

Nice bios, both of you. The story looks to be progressing well in the planning stages, at least, so I'm feeling good about the rest of the war to come.

Anyway, in terms of the actual plan for the story, I'm vaguely applying the same principles as we did for Cytheria - breaking it up into broad parts to start with, then working out a more detailed list of individual parts afterwards. Given the scale of the war as a whole, I think it's going to be pretty impossible to detail the entire thing, so we should probably decide on a selection of important events and cover those in decent amounts of detail, perhaps with a few "snapshot" pieces remarking on the other parts of the war.

In terms of the first few parts, how would this look?

Part One: A Call to Arms - Essentially the prologue. The Orks arrive in the Olynthus subsector, the first battles are fought, reinforcements are mustered. Generally an introduction to all our characters, I figure, with a few in-the-shadow hints from the Chaos side that they are involved somehow.

Part Two: Against the Tide - The main body of the war with the Orks. The Guard fight across several worlds, and generally end up committed to their fights. We see the tensions rising between the various Guard commanders, and get more of a look at the Chaos forces mustering. A few pieces from Rhamah's perspective, musing on how he's manipulated the situation, and a few missions from Slith as he infiltrates the subsector.

Part Three: The changing face of war - The Chaos forces invade. I imagine they are initially very successful, as no one really expected them and they've planned this all out rather well. The Guard command struggles to adapt to the situation, and tensions reach boiling point as the casualties mount.

Part Four: The Weakness of Men - Essentially, this is the part when the Hartokii turn traitor. Again, I figure this probably has a rather significant effect on the war and gives the advantage to the Chaos side - ninety million professional soldiers switching sides has GOT to have an impact.

How the story proceeds from there, I don't know, as it rather depends on how we want the story as a whole to proceed and end.

In any case, I think we need to start working out a description of the worlds in the Olynthus subsector, so we can have a good idea of how the war over them will go. A subsector would include maybe a dozen systems, yeah?
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby LordLucan » Sat May 28, 2011 11:33 pm

That structure works for me.

What sor tof conclusion are we looking for here? Victory for Rhamah, or some sort of hollow victory for the Imperials? Something more nuanced?
Check out my debut fantasy novel from Fox Spirit Books, The Hobgoblin's Herald (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hobgoblins-Herald-R-Aston/dp/1910462047). If you've read it, please rate and review it on amazon; I'd be eternally grateful. The sequel, Eater of Names, is out in 2018, so watch this space.
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Rhamah » Sat May 28, 2011 11:50 pm

LordLucan wrote:That structure works for me.

What sor tof conclusion are we looking for here? Victory for Rhamah, or some sort of hollow victory for the Imperials? Something more nuanced?


A short-lived victory for Rhamah. Just enough to further his goals.
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Mossy Toes » Sun May 29, 2011 12:02 am

I think an important point to consider is what Lady Winter does and how she acts after she turns traitor...

I mean, just because circumstances and situations have forced her over to the over side doesn't mean she suddenly discards an entire lifetime of indoctrination...and neither do her soldiers. She will have to deal with challenges to her authority, dissent in the ranks, discontent externally, as well as her burning doubts, fear/contempt of her new patrons, utter aversion to mutation and corruption, and disgust with her own actions internally.

Where she is by the end of the story (and whether or not she dies) is very important--has she acclimatized and regained firm control of her troops' loyalty, leading them on a gradual descent into depravity so as to survive? Will she have turned into a mutated wreck, insane and gibbering to herself, wracked by paranoia and trying to hold together a splintering army? Will she be distraught by her deeds and betray her new allies, sacrificing her life and those of her warriors in a desperate, sacrificial, futile attempt at redemption?

So much fraught potential!
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby LordLucan » Sun May 29, 2011 12:15 am

Mossy Toes wrote: Will she be distraught by her deeds and betray her new allies, sacrificing her life and those of her warriors in a desperate, sacrificial, futile attempt at redemption?


I would love this ending. Perhaps she has turned, and the Imperials are defeated, but then, as she watches the mass slaughter of the worlds she swore to protect, she has a breakdown? Perhaps her last minute chang eof allegience prevents Rhamah's victory from being a massive one, into merely a short term one? Or perhaps one of her own men is leading a revolt involving the other loyalist characters?

Hell, maybe she remains corrupted, but she is arrogant enough to believe that she can make the chaos warband 'better' if she was in command, not this monster Rhamah, and tries to stage a coup?
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Maugan Ra » Sun May 29, 2011 12:33 am

Hmm. Interesting question... I'm not sure how the General will behave after the betrayal. It's certainly something I'll have to think about.
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Commander Shadow » Sun May 29, 2011 12:43 am

I was thinking that maybe Knight Commander LeVan would be positioned, at least towards the end of the piece, close to her forces (the Fennari and Hartokii will be the ones feuding am i correct?) and perhaps there could be some greater confrontation between him and Winter. I envision him as an extremely loyal character to his commanding officers and could be torn between following her (if she is to be his supperior) and KT's character.

Or perhaps some sort of feuding due to the gender? feudal societies tend to not be very women-in-charge friendly.

Just thoughts
- And there arose from the abyss a terrible beast and the armies of man were laid low by the walls of the ancient city. The ground shook and the skies trembled and all knew as the beast had come forth and that the end of time was upon them.

"Shadow is always right, except when he tries to save his men from charging orks" - Ang
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby LordLucan » Sun May 29, 2011 1:28 am

Commander Shadow wrote:I was thinking that maybe Knight Commander LeVan would be positioned, at least towards the end of the piece, close to her forces (the Fennari and Hartokii will be the ones feuding am i correct?) and perhaps there could be some greater confrontation between him and Winter. I envision him as an extremely loyal character to his commanding officers and could be torn between following her (if she is to be his supperior) and KT's character.

Or perhaps some sort of feuding due to the gender? feudal societies tend to not be very women-in-charge friendly.

Just thoughts


I like the idea taht he remains loyal not because he is neccessairly a good man, but because he doesn't like female commanders on principle. That is the sort of complex and subversive motives that'd be cool and original to portray i think.
Check out my debut fantasy novel from Fox Spirit Books, The Hobgoblin's Herald (https://www.amazon.co.uk/Hobgoblins-Herald-R-Aston/dp/1910462047). If you've read it, please rate and review it on amazon; I'd be eternally grateful. The sequel, Eater of Names, is out in 2018, so watch this space.
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Ghurlag » Sun May 29, 2011 1:44 am

I think that narrative structure looks pretty fine, Maugan. To work through it from the position of a sketchy outline of Boehmer's movements...

Part One would see little of Boehmer, since he's not critical to those initial invasion stories, and I had plans for him to be sent into the subsector from outside (missing the initial party). However, his position could be a good one to use for exposition on the invasion, something like this:


Margthar leaned forward, the tiles creaking as his weight shifted to the plasteel staff.

"Elleke, the Anakos probes are reporting movement."

Boehmer raised an eyebrow, his spoon halfway to his mouth.

"The greenskin hulks aren't a static system, Margthar - the models only represent long-term trends. Certain fluctuations-"

"Elleke," Margthar interrupted, "all of the probes are reporting movement."

Boehmer put down his spoon.

"In the same direction?" he asked, incredulous, the beginnings of a frown creasing his forehead.

"In the same direction," Margthar confirmed dryly.

Boehmer raised his napkin to his mouth, his frown deepening.

"And the mass estimates?"

"As we last reviewed them."

"But that's-"

"I know. Finish your lunch and meet me in the chapel. Not to understate this, but we face something of a problem."


In due course, Boehmer would reach the Olynthus system and liaise with whoever was appropriate for the location (so I would imagine one of our two generals, for some nice interaction).

In part two, I hoped to move Boehmer to a seige somewhere, possibly in a hive city, where he could begin to deploy sneaky defences and investigate the Ork threat more closely to determine what provoked their odd movement. I thought of a seige because it's a nice device to get the Orks 'up close' without them actually cutting the heads off their observers straight away. In fact, if the Orks breach the walls, and slowly push their way up through the levels, it would form a nice (if minor) victory for them.

From there I'm not sure what to do. One angle has me extract him at the end of the seige to report on the Orks and aid the rest of the resistance effort, whereas the other has me leave him trapped in there with them, probably leading to an eventual death. Hmm. Need to rest the brain.

As the misty veil of Albion is cast aside, we turn our gaze to the war-torn island of Albany, where the Red King vies with his former master for the control of a realm in dire threat.
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Commander Shadow » Sun May 29, 2011 2:25 am

Fenn rifle regiments are designated as seige regiments, so they have alot of man power and used to fighting in closed spaces. They, along with Hive PDF, could take part in the orks moving into the hives.

First off, how many worlds are in this subsector? how many systems? How many stars?

Where are the ork hulks hitting first? Where are the regiments deployed?

From what it seems the fighting is going to be incredibly incredibly large. How many hulks are there? Perhaps we could figure that out before everyone delves into writing?
- And there arose from the abyss a terrible beast and the armies of man were laid low by the walls of the ancient city. The ground shook and the skies trembled and all knew as the beast had come forth and that the end of time was upon them.

"Shadow is always right, except when he tries to save his men from charging orks" - Ang
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Ghurlag » Sun May 29, 2011 3:55 am

Commander Shadow wrote:From what it seems the fighting is going to be incredibly incredibly large. How many hulks are there? Perhaps we could figure that out before everyone delves into writing?


Er, yes, this. Good focus that man.

As the misty veil of Albion is cast aside, we turn our gaze to the war-torn island of Albany, where the Red King vies with his former master for the control of a realm in dire threat.
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Commander Shadow » Sun May 29, 2011 5:50 am

how about six hulks? thats the number of the chaos star thing, some sort of evil number or whatnot.

perhaps they could have names that have "damnation" in them. Eternal Damnation, Damnation of Worlds, Damnation from the Darkness, etc etc. just thinking
- And there arose from the abyss a terrible beast and the armies of man were laid low by the walls of the ancient city. The ground shook and the skies trembled and all knew as the beast had come forth and that the end of time was upon them.

"Shadow is always right, except when he tries to save his men from charging orks" - Ang
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Re: Tide of Damnation

Postby Maugan Ra » Sun May 29, 2011 8:29 am

Was thinking of having a dozen star systems, give or take, in the subsector. Not all of them inhabited, so in the end we're left with about eight systems to actually worry about. If there are six hulks, that works out well - one to each system, leaving a couple as uncontested Imperial staging grounds? Or have those other two infested with genestealers and lead to a drawn out purge?

I think Rhamah said during an MSN chat that the Sons of Murder were pretty much a few hundred Chaos Marines, with some mutant and abominations in support. Not a huge army of soldiers, which would explain the whole gambit with the Xenos.

And I find myself amused, trying to work out how Seras would react to allies expressing disbelief in her tactical abilities based on her gender. I'm thinking several extremely caustic remarks may be in order....
Maugan, your slow descent into madness is starting to look more like a BASE jump...
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