Project: Jailbreak.

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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Maugan Ra » Sun Jan 01, 2012 7:21 pm

Ghurlag wrote:You mentioned a heretical Inquisitor as a prisoner in your first post as being the 'core' of the story - maybe we should look at her a bit more closely. Presumably she was an ally of Monn's. I don't know if you have something planned, but a backstory I can see easily is that, as a reasonably similar (radical/extreme) Inquisitor, she was working with him on a case where Monn's latent heresy slowly bubbled to the surface. Fearing discovery but unwilling to kill her (guilt? romantic interest?) Monn betrayed and imprisoned her.


That was the heretical Inquisitor I was referring to, yeah. If possible, I'd quite like to write her as my character, hence why I asked.

I can have all sorts of fun writing a proper heretic...
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Raziel4707 » Sun Jan 01, 2012 7:52 pm

Oops, yes it is indeed Marneus Raxell, not Maxell. When I'm trying to think of names I tend to look around the office, in this case at an old box of "Maxell" 3.5" floppy discs. Silly boy.

Well if you guys want those characters then please, be my guest. We can agree on certain elements that progress the narrative but otherwise, just go for it.

Point taken about the Tyranids, not a subject where I can claim to be an expert so indeed, smaller gribblies in the main would be good and in fairly limited numbers.

Would be a great element to have one of the "inmates" in league with Raxell, would make sense for there to be another element to the little bastard's plan.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Stuart000X » Sun Jan 01, 2012 8:45 pm

Going off topic from what has been spoke about in the past few posts, I would like to take this moment to explain a bit more in depth of the character I have personally created, and what is the reasoning behind his capture, and what he could be used as in connection with the plot itself.

As I've mentioned Ha'bazz is an ork weirdboy; an ork that has latent psychic powers. On a raid on an ork kruiser, Monn captured a few orks in the interests of exprimentation when he came upon Ha'bazz. Subduing the ork, Monn has been working tirelessly to tap into the instability of an ork weirdboy; trying to discover a means of utilising it against the orks themselves.

Augmenting him in various biological ways, Monn has increased the power that Ha'bazz wields, but was unable to control him nor test him without gaining the test results he desired. Before Monn could do anything more to Ha'bazz, crisis took hold.

His shackles broken, Ha'bazz now wanders the prison, looking for a means to escape. However, his travels are blocked by the various other prisoners now out of their prison cells. Making things worst, Ha'bazz psychic abilities are steadily growing in both power and scope, and unable to control such force, Ha'bazz is essence a walking time bomb; one that may have dire consequences to anyone near him, if not the prison's already fragil structure.

The idea behind Ha'bazz as a plot tool is that he helps deliver onto the story a mean's to help explain the fast and immediate collapse of the prison itself. He may co=operate with other characters, but his unstable powers will help sever the ties between he and his companions; staying near him being too dangerous to continue.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Raziel4707 » Sun Jan 01, 2012 9:16 pm

"the fast and immediate collapse of the prison itself." ??? However I like the possibilities of an unhinged weird boy, adds an element of randomness, unpredictability and general instability. He's definitely a keeper Stuart.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Stuart000X » Sun Jan 01, 2012 9:20 pm

Raziel4707 wrote:"the fast and immediate collapse of the prison itself."


Sounds misleading what I said. I don't know how long this whole event will last in real time, but I reckon it should occur within a few days from start to finish. I can't see how it will last any longer than that?
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Raziel4707 » Sun Jan 01, 2012 11:16 pm

Real time, probably a day or less. There will certainly be powers unleashed that make lingering too long a seriously stupid career move and it's not like anyone will have a chance to pause for a rest. The main jailbreak itself will be relatively brief (in real time) though it's possible that if we're all willing and have the enthusiasm, further fallout could ensue. I'm thinking we aim for a simple, short timeline that will come in at a comfortable size, going from a fixed start to fixed end via interesting routes and fixed narrative points, and then see what we've got.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Stuart000X » Mon Jan 02, 2012 12:17 am

My sentiments are the same on the time scale. When I think of this storyframe and its content, my thoughts go towards things like the Batman and Dead Rising games; how they last for less than a few hours maximum.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Raziel4707 » Mon Jan 02, 2012 12:20 am

Definitely. If it was too prolonged then we'd have to consider that other Inquisitorial agents would notice what was happening, which may be part of Raxell's plan in the long run, but I think the tight time frame will lend to our chances of success.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Ghurlag » Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:14 am

My apologies Maugan, I didn't see your intent there with the heretic.

To be clear, should we be starting after Raxell has sabotagued the facility, or just before? (i.e. Is the event included, or do we start 'after'?) Obviously most characters wouldn't be doing much moving around until the break, but it might be a good time for background to be revealed.

So far we know that Monn has collected

1) An Ork WeirdBoy, presumably to test the odd greenskin's psyker abilities
2) A selection of Tyranid entities, possibly to test the hive-link between them
3) A possessed preacher (Brass)
4) A fellow (heretical) Inquisitor

Presumably there are also a couple of artefacts lying around that could be important plot devices.

It looks fairly likely to me from the nature of his subjects that Monn was doing research into the nature of the Warp (definitely a perilous activity for an Inquisitor). Is he a psyker himself?

I think it might be better if Raxell isn't a psyker (not that anyone suggested it) - he strikes me more as one who's progressing through cunning and ambition.

If we consider the heretical Inquisitor as the central character, there are a number of dangers.

Firstly, I'm assuming she teams up with Brass (the only pseudo-Imperial prisoner thus far), so his split personality disorder adds a degree of suspicion to even friendly interaction.

Secondly, there are Tyranids roaming the corridors/vents. They've been cooped up, and they are going to be peeved. They're not an army, but they're probably the most unified force, and they raise the base level of threat. They'll basically be after killing everyone and spawning more Tyranid goodness, though I doubt we'll get quite that far with them.

Third, Ha'bazz is busting his way around the complex. Orcs aren't exactly mild-tempered anyway, and Ha'bazz is basically a ticking time bomb due to escalating power. Other characters would do well to avoid him.

Maxell is still around, and he's presumably got some kind of exit strategy - if the main character and Brass want to escape, they might have to take his 'way out', which could put them in conflict. It's possible he wants to make sure Monn is killed before leaving - otherwise he might simply be delayed by the chaos he's unleashed, or be busy collecting trinkets for his own advancement.

Monn is around, if secluded somewhere, and in quite a bit of danger. Basically everyone wants to kill him, though some might be working towards that more than others. He does have the 'home turf' advantage though, and it's possible he has some aces in his hole.

As the misty veil of Albion is cast aside, we turn our gaze to the war-torn island of Albany, where the Red King vies with his former master for the control of a realm in dire threat.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Stuart000X » Mon Jan 02, 2012 12:19 pm

Prior to the introduction of the "main course" of our story, I believe there should be a prelude or an introductory segment to start the story off, and that this piece should be divided up in to two pieces, the first include the main characters of the Inquistiors, the setting of the prison in our story, details of the activities; how, why, and a few other incidental details, followed by a small display of each character's personality and traits/flaws.

The second bit should display the collapse of the prison's security and overall control of the complex on the behalf of Inquisitor Monn, showing brief glimpses of anarchy and chaos, and the escape of a few captured specimens. I don't think in these introductary pieces it should announce any of our prisoner characters, or at least not in a direct fashion; rather it done by discription or refered to by prison/subject number.

Thereafter the plot breaks up into the different stories our characters.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Rusk » Mon Jan 02, 2012 2:19 pm

Quick question, with the cells in the prison, I'm going to guess that they're aren't 3rd millenium prison cubes with iron bars, as they would seem a bit too fragile if there're tyranids and a psychic ork knocking about. How are the inmates actually restrained? Void shields or pentagrammic wards/chains, maybe? I'm thinking of how

Spoiler: Eisenhorn has Cherubael restrained in Malleus.



@Stuart: So only the inquisitors would have a backstory about how they ended up in the prison? (not complaining, just making sure I understood :P)
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Stuart000X » Mon Jan 02, 2012 4:17 pm

Rusk wrote:@Stuart: So only the inquisitors would have a backstory about how they ended up in the prison? (not complaining, just making sure I understood :P)


At this stage nothing is set in stone on what will be our approach towards the story, whether as a whole, or in segments or chapters. Unless someone on the forum is advidly following our discussions outside of the sphere of the group itself, then I would say no one knows of the general gist of the story or the characters involved in it. And playing on that notion, the Inquistiors, in my opinion, are more or less the "leading" characters in this story due to both having more weight of authority in dictating the direction of the story more, but obviousuly the story isn't just about the Inquisitors, and to that effect, the Inquisitors are more or less the starting catalyst of what is to happen to the story, thereafter, it's more or less a free-for-all with all the characters.

If I reflect on the Batman: Arkham Asylum game, there are many cells which have been specialised to house different criminals, i.e. there's a globe like cell to house Poison Ivy, while there's a refrigerated one to house Mr. Freeze. In comparison to that, we can come up with something for our own characters.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Rusk » Mon Jan 02, 2012 4:35 pm

Ah, ok, got it now. Thanks.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Maugan Ra » Mon Jan 02, 2012 5:53 pm

And here's my character, the aforementioned heretical Inquisitor.

Victoria Schiffer

Victoria was not born so much as made. Under the command of the great Lord Inquisitor Holstmann of the Ordo Malleus, a radical of no small repute, forbidden genetic manipulation techniques were employed by renegade Hereteks to craft her from the cellular level on up. After creation, Victoria spent the next six years of her life living in a drug-fuelled semi-comatose state, while hypo-indoctrination techniques and hired telepaths worked on her unconscious mind, shaping it to fit their purpose. The intention was to create a perfect Inquisitor, a worthy successor to Holstmann, one who would share his radical philosophies and continue his great works after he was dead and gone. They failed miserably.

When Schiffer finally awoke, initial test results seemed to confirm everything Holstmann had hoped to see. His surrogate daughter, her immature body artificially accelerated to adulthood, was fast and strong, and had an instinctual grasp of combat in all its forms. She was intelligent and perceptive, and in the vaults of her near-perfect memory rested the combined knowledge of Holstmann and half a dozen of his most learned savants. She even seemed to follow the same mental philosophies as her 'father', showing no hesitation in employing otherwise forbidden techniques to acomplish her goals. What her creators had failed to consider was just what those goals might be.

Holstmann was not the most devout individual, so he had not programmed his daughter to hold anything more than a intellectual appreciation for the power of the Imperial Church. He was fiercely loyal to the cause of humanity, but he knew first hand that sometimes harsh decisions had to be taken in the cause of the Inquisition, so Victoria was created without any deep emotional attachment to human life that might hamper her ability to make those decisions. It never occured to him that, without either of those, nor anything resembling a traditional upbringing, Victoria Schiffer would have no reason to remain loyal to the Emperor.

The moment he granted her the Rosette, Schiffer murdered Holstmann and destroyed every trace of his works that she could find. That done, she started her career as an Inquisitor of the Ordo Malleus - it was what she had been designed for, after all. Schiffer is not so removed from humanity as to render her motives unrecognisable - she desires power, power to control the lives of others as completely as her own was once controlled, and in all the galaxy, few individuals hold quite so much power as the Imperial Inquisition.

She still does not know how Monn found out about her carefully hidden heresy, nor where exactly it is he is holding her. Nor does she particularly care right now - she knows only that Monn seeks to control her, to use her as a tool much as her late father did, and it is her most fervant desire to visit upon him the same fate that she did on Holstmann. And now that someone has lowered the security barriers around her cell, she has an opportunity to accomplish her goals - the gods help any fool who gets in her way.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Raziel4707 » Mon Jan 02, 2012 8:09 pm

Right, just briefly for now and will clarify tomorrow. The opening section will include Monn and quite possibly Raxell before he starts everything off. He may not do this in person, of course.

After that we will see the same period of time through the eyes of one of the inmates so probably one of the most human ones.

I'm thinking that each inmate will be held in the manner most appropriate to them, there will be little to no uniformity to the methodology used. Definitely be thinking Cherubael for anything with psychic powers so I'd say that means Ha'Bazz for sure. Perhaps he could be released in person and it's his decision to release all the others in a rare moment of clear though for an Ork. He knows that will create the most chaos so...

More mundane stuff for the humans and gribblies; electrified bars, chains, that sort of thing.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Stuart000X » Mon Jan 02, 2012 8:57 pm

Raziel4707 wrote:I'm thinking that each inmate will be held in the manner most appropriate to them, there will be little to no uniformity to the methodology used. Definitely be thinking Cherubael for anything with psychic powers so I'd say that means Ha'Bazz for sure. Perhaps he could be released in person and it's his decision to release all the others in a rare moment of clear though for an Ork. He knows that will create the most chaos so...


This could be used, though it need not be so careful and delicate about the whole subject. Being an ork, and possessing a power that is unstable, Ha'bazz could wreak a bit of havoc that causes complete meltdown. I sought of think like how the aliens broke out in Alien Resurrection, when it took only one or two get out and start causing problems, and thereafter more problems arose with more escapees making their dash for freedom.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Ghurlag » Tue Jan 03, 2012 4:09 am

Given this, I think we have a perfect opportunity for the Raxell/Monn scene at the start, with dialogue between Raxell and Monn taking place in an observatory-type situation near where Monn holds Ha'Bazz. Raxell can finish his scene by (temporarily) incapacitating Monn and then releasing Ha'Bazz before making an escape (if only a partial one - out of the room rather than the complex).

Ha'Bazz then lets rip, causing other subjects to be freed, and leaving the reader uncertain as to whether Monn is dead (perfect for him turning up afterwards, having pulled one of those aces out)

As the misty veil of Albion is cast aside, we turn our gaze to the war-torn island of Albany, where the Red King vies with his former master for the control of a realm in dire threat.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Stuart000X » Tue Jan 03, 2012 9:32 am

Ghurlag wrote:Given this, I think we have a perfect opportunity for the Raxell/Monn scene at the start, with dialogue between Raxell and Monn taking place in an observatory-type situation near where Monn holds Ha'Bazz. Raxell can finish his scene by (temporarily) incapacitating Monn and then releasing Ha'Bazz before making an escape (if only a partial one - out of the room rather than the complex).

Ha'Bazz then lets rip, causing other subjects to be freed, and leaving the reader uncertain as to whether Monn is dead (perfect for him turning up afterwards, having pulled one of those aces out)


Perfect. It is, in my mind, exactly along the lines of what we should be going for as an beginning, or at least a prelude depending on your of where the beginning starts at? The Inquisitors, or the prisoners?
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Raziel4707 » Tue Jan 03, 2012 10:18 am

Obviously this is provisional and totally open to change, but this is the bare bones of what I was thinking originally. It differs from what Ghurlag suggested for an opening but that’s not a problem, I just want to say what my initial thoughts were to ensure a structure that can be altered so that we do have a structure to work with.

Timeline.

• Monn is in his study with Raxell, discussing their recent persecution of <insert case here> and the repercussions of said endeavour. Raxell is complimentary but not leaning towards sycophantic, careful not to show his hand and to merely appear supportive and loyal. Monn tells Raxell that in the wake of recent events another Inquisitor is en route to interview him (ha ha! The ticking crock!) and that it is important that certain issues are kept well hidden. (Might be a good point to mention the captured Inquisitor.)

• Raxell agrees and is charged with the task of checking out the prison, making certain that everything is in order and will not be discovered. He grants Raxell permission to execute any that might pose a potential risk of discovery if noses begin sniffing in the wrong places and orders him to ensure that the guards are prepared for what they will need to do.

• Raxell obviously does not do this and instead murders several guards, activates the alarms and, probably with help, heads to the most secure wing where the Weird-Boy Ha’Bazz is being held.

• The released Ork, who would not have been completely lucid, awakes and with it his powers awake, weak for now but gaining in power over time. The “ministrations” of the Inquisition have destabilised him further and his power “flares off” from time to time, causing all manner of weird and wonderful things to happen.

• Perhaps he has a run-in with Raxell and that is why Raxell opens the other cells, to act as a "human" shield so he can escape?

• Chaos ensues and there’s a hell of a fight, with guards, Raxell’s people and the more primitive / angry inmates knocking seven shades of <redacted for the sake of the children> out of each other. Meanwhile the more astute prisoners, realising for one thing that they are unarmed and unarmoured, slip away from most of the violence and attempt to make their way through the jail towards an exit or towards an armoury if the opportunity presents itself.

• Around this point certain alliances will need to be made and possibly the mention of Tyranids. The big, noisy fights are one thing but the stalkers in the dark are a greater threat altogether.

• POV on Monn, generally cacking himself as his “visitor” is on the way and is awaiting his response to astropathic message. Raxell could still be playing the innocent or not but Monn realises that his chances of getting away with this are slim and that he must act. He and his personal guards go to the prison in the full knowledge that Ha’Bazz must be stopped before he does something silly, like opening a warp-rift or turning into a 40ft hamster.

• We flesh this section out as a group, depending on who is doing what and what characters we have, what allegiances and what dirty little secrets are coming out. The radical Inquisitor would be likely to take a prominent position I think, perhaps she is more sympathetic, even if only in as much as it will help her achieve what she wants to for the time being?

• I’d enjoy a section where the lights go out, possibly as Monnas his men arrive, equipped to work in low / no light conditions and with an assortment of high-end weapons against the few pitiful things the inmates have cobbled together. They’ll be the only ones vaguely prepared for the Tyranids but still, how do you prepare for Tyranids?

• Someone is going to have to fight / encounter Ha’Bazz at some point, and I’m wondering if perhaps the priest might be the one to do it. Perhaps changes could have been wrought on the ork by his leaking powers and the little daemon thing understands the threat better than anyone else does?

• I’d like it to end with the complete destruction of the facility as Ha’Bazz (Ha’Barry to his parents) goes kerboom, with the explosion witnessed by the Inquisitorial taskforce sent to interview Monn. Those that survive (if any) could have a POV at this point and I’m wondering if this might be a good time for Inquisitor Schiffer to double-cross them, bringing them in using any remaining troops loyal to Monn / Raxell who know what’s good for them, using them to cement her loyalty in the eyes of the taskforce.


As I said, totally open to change. I’d like to take on the Dark Eldar character, if everyone’s fine with that, and I’d like a Tau as well (if someone would care to write one) as they would be an excellent mediator between the different races.
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Re: Project: Jailbreak.

Postby Stuart000X » Tue Jan 03, 2012 10:56 am

Raziel4707 wrote: turning into a 40ft hamster.


Damn it, you've ruined the surprise plotwist in my story!

I like what I've read, which in short is what I was envisaging for the story; as both a whole and in chapters.

In reference to Ha'bazz for character usage in your stories, I would look upon him as though he was a storm; with unnatural and uncontrolable powers shooting out in differing directions without warning, causing great damage to wherever it strikes, and that is how I would regard him in that stance.
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