Film Nest

Extraneous communication, genuflection, adulation, dissection and admiration should make its way in here.

Film Nest

Postby Vivia » Sun Jul 21, 2013 8:18 pm

A place to discuss anything cinema related that is not a review, mostly dedicated to bad films, b-z films and weird cinema.

I start with the great Cinema Snob, Brad Jones: http://www.thecinemasnob.com/
He has several shows, The Bruno Mattei Show, Kung Tai Ted, 80s Dan, in my opinion the The Cinema Snob show is where he shines. For anyone interested in Z-Grade Cinema.

Elves, with no elves.

Star Odyssey, a Star Wars rip-off.

Robot Jox, giant robot action from the 80s. I need this film!
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. "Oh, the men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls..." Okay, I hear it now. – Jack, episode Queen of Jordan
User avatar
Vivia
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:11 pm
Location: Stockholm, long nights


Re: Film Nest

Postby Vivia » Mon Jul 22, 2013 10:43 am

Phelous mainly reviews horror films, but he is a big TMNT fan and reviews the musicals. The horror, the horror.

Coming Out Of Their Shells, watch at your own peril, it's hilarious though.

Troll 4, another troll film except they forgot the trolls. A Phelous and Cinema Snob crossover.

Edit: he is a fan not a big mutant turtle. Thanks, Ghurlag. :)
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. "Oh, the men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls..." Okay, I hear it now. – Jack, episode Queen of Jordan
User avatar
Vivia
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:11 pm
Location: Stockholm, long nights


Re: Film Nest

Postby Ghurlag » Wed Jul 24, 2013 1:09 am

Vivia wrote:Phelous mainly reviews horror films, but he is a big TMNT and reviews the musicals. The horror, the horror.


He's a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle?

(Sorry, but I don't know how else to expand that acronym.)

As the misty veil of Albion is cast aside, we turn our gaze to the war-torn island of Albany, where the Red King vies with his former master for the control of a realm in dire threat.
User avatar
Ghurlag
 
Posts: 697
Joined: Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:57 pm


Re: Film Nest

Postby LordLucan » Sun Jul 28, 2013 3:47 pm

Vivia: Not to be pedantic, but virtually every one of your links links to a film reviewer or critic, which would fit perfectly well under the umbrella of the Film Review Corner, as they review films... ;)
Check out the start of my new serialised novel, Gingerbread, published with Jukepop Serials (It is free to read, so please read and comment). Here's the link, enjoy:
https://www.jukepopserials.com/home/read/1367/?chapter=2&p=0&sl=10
User avatar
LordLucan
 
Posts: 3551
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:05 pm


Re: Film Nest

Postby Xisor » Sun Jul 28, 2013 5:48 pm

LordLucan wrote:Vivia: Not to be pedantic,


Bloody pednant!
"When my housemate puts his bike in the middle of the living room floor, I find that inordinately jarring, annoying and rude, but for me to refer to it as "genocide" would be incorrect." -Ath
xisor.wordpress
Xisor's Dice-o-matic Maiminator
User avatar
Xisor
Site Admin
 
Posts: 4883
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:13 pm
Location: Canterbury


Re: Film Nest

Postby LordLucan » Sun Jul 28, 2013 6:13 pm

Xisor wrote:
LordLucan wrote:Vivia: Not to be pedantic,


Bloody pednant!


pednant? it's pedan- oh I see what you're doing... :lol:
Check out the start of my new serialised novel, Gingerbread, published with Jukepop Serials (It is free to read, so please read and comment). Here's the link, enjoy:
https://www.jukepopserials.com/home/read/1367/?chapter=2&p=0&sl=10
User avatar
LordLucan
 
Posts: 3551
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:05 pm


Re: Film Nest

Postby Vivia » Sun Jul 28, 2013 9:56 pm

The Film Nest is targeted towards bad cinema and other weirdness, not to be confused with regular films, these are the bottom of the barrel and underneath it. I should make that clear in my first post.
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. "Oh, the men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls..." Okay, I hear it now. – Jack, episode Queen of Jordan
User avatar
Vivia
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:11 pm
Location: Stockholm, long nights


Re: Film Nest

Postby LordLucan » Mon Jul 29, 2013 5:31 pm

Oh I see.

Perhaps give it a name more reflective of its content? Like 'the film cesspit'? ;)

'Nest' implies something treasured and nurtured is held inside, which is not something you're going for I imagine... :lol:
Check out the start of my new serialised novel, Gingerbread, published with Jukepop Serials (It is free to read, so please read and comment). Here's the link, enjoy:
https://www.jukepopserials.com/home/read/1367/?chapter=2&p=0&sl=10
User avatar
LordLucan
 
Posts: 3551
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:05 pm


Re: Film Nest

Postby Vivia » Thu Aug 01, 2013 11:15 am

Bad cinema is to be cherished. Many love bad films like me, we make fun of the things we love. The 80s were great. :)

Next reviewer is Diamanda Hagan. Now, she finds really weird film, super weird. Art films, seriuz films, semi-porn and other oddness. You must watch her to believe. Social commentary, feminism, everything makes it into her reviews, she isn't afraid of anything. Don't miss the episodes where she possesses other reviewers.
Like the Cinema Snob, she has many types of shows. Her site is here. She is a That Guy With The Glasses contributor.

Sextette - with Mae West, Timothy Dalton, Keith Moon, Tony Curtis and even Alice Cooper, he is the only good thing. It's a musical, have to be seen to be believed.

Faust Love of the Damned - a satanic, horror superhero.
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. "Oh, the men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls..." Okay, I hear it now. – Jack, episode Queen of Jordan
User avatar
Vivia
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:11 pm
Location: Stockholm, long nights


Re: Film Nest

Postby Vivia » Tue Oct 01, 2013 9:32 pm

For Halloween horror films.

MST3k: The Screaming Skull. Not so bad, there are some scary moments, it doesn't make it less funny. "The skull paid a pack of squirrels to knock the door."

House on Haunted Hills- I love Vincent Price but it has moments of silliness. Rifftrax has done their best to make it funny, it has rather creepy moments.

More coming soon.
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. "Oh, the men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls..." Okay, I hear it now. – Jack, episode Queen of Jordan
User avatar
Vivia
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:11 pm
Location: Stockholm, long nights


Re: Film Nest

Postby LordLucan » Wed Oct 02, 2013 1:39 am

I want to find a MST3K-style jokey commentary for The happening, because I find that film so hilariously poorly acted, it went from terrible, to godawful, to funny, as I watched the film! :lol:
Check out the start of my new serialised novel, Gingerbread, published with Jukepop Serials (It is free to read, so please read and comment). Here's the link, enjoy:
https://www.jukepopserials.com/home/read/1367/?chapter=2&p=0&sl=10
User avatar
LordLucan
 
Posts: 3551
Joined: Thu Mar 03, 2011 9:05 pm


Re: Film Nest

Postby Vivia » Sat Oct 05, 2013 1:50 pm

You're in luck: The Happening has a Rifftrax! Costs around $6, go to Rifftrax.com and take a look. There are Youtube videos with the best of and such. That film is nearly mindblowingly bad, not in a b-film type of way. Talking with plants. :)
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. "Oh, the men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls..." Okay, I hear it now. – Jack, episode Queen of Jordan
User avatar
Vivia
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:11 pm
Location: Stockholm, long nights


Re: Film Nest

Postby Major Rawne » Fri Nov 01, 2013 10:46 am

I've always had a little bit of a soft spot for The Happening.

Watched a couple of Friday the 13th films last night. They were brilliantly bad.
User avatar
Major Rawne
 
Posts: 1109
Joined: Sat Jun 04, 2011 11:24 am
Location: Under Your Bed


Re: Film Nest

Postby Vivia » Fri Nov 01, 2013 3:02 pm

Time for Mike J and his Shameful Sequels series.

Jaws III and IV - telepathy, eighties 3D effects, an evil shark (they have feelings!) and nefarious teleportation. Michael Caine makes one of his non-Oscar performances, believe it. Don't miss the ending sequence of the review, a man without tea isn't a man.

Jeepers Creepers 2 - Bad, bad. A strange creature hunts a group nasty teens, yay.

Scorpion King 2- a truly horrific film.

Critters 4 - gremlins in space. Brad Dourif is in it. "And Brad Dourif. Seriously, Brad, just because it's a genre film doesn't mean you have to be in it. You're allowed to say no."
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. "Oh, the men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls..." Okay, I hear it now. – Jack, episode Queen of Jordan
User avatar
Vivia
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:11 pm
Location: Stockholm, long nights


Re: Film Nest

Postby Vivia » Sat Nov 23, 2013 6:56 pm

Film Brain is a favourite of mine on That Guy With the Glasses. One of his latest Bad Movie Beatdown is Jack and Jill. Gah.
Jack and Jill - Al Pacino, David Spade, Katie Holmes, Dana Carvey star in this mess.

His other reviews, my favourites:

Monkeybone- bad comedy with Brendan Fraser and Bridget Fonda about exactly what the title says, let that sink in. Bleh.

On Deadly Ground - Steven Seagal, do I need to say anything more. He sees himself as a environmentalist. Nonono. It's offensive on so many levels. :lol:

Street Fighter: Legend of Chun Li - so bad it hurts.

Live Wire - Pierce Brosnan at his most dreadful, he tries to speak with an American accent! Noo! He should be awarded for his attempt.

Cobra - A Stallone film. It was made under the heavy influence of that snowy white powder during the 80s. Devil worshippers, I don't need to say more. Don't miss the Stallone month.

The Happening - Mark Wahlberg isn't a bad actor but omg, why? So much to make fun off.
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. "Oh, the men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls..." Okay, I hear it now. – Jack, episode Queen of Jordan
User avatar
Vivia
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:11 pm
Location: Stockholm, long nights


Re: Film Nest

Postby Vivia » Sat Nov 23, 2013 7:20 pm

Watched Scooby-Doo, the movie on Cartoon Network. What complete tight ball of dreadfulness. The writers and director got EVERYTHING wrong about the cartoon. They made the film cartoon-y but without success, the characters are idiots, yes, there is silliness in the cartoons but the Scooby gang weren't airheads; in the film they're exactly that. Shaggy couldn't be worse, he never made grimaces, how is that cartoon-y (his and Scooby-Doo's interaction are better left without saying, they're so bad), Daphne has the worst wardrobe, same as Velma, worst knitted pullover ever, there was something cheap about the entire production despite it being a blockbuster. Scooby Doo is a CGI monstrosity, not as bad as Garfield in his films, but close.
The film credits end with a hip hop song, it couldn't be worse. "Scooby-Doo yo".
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. "Oh, the men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls..." Okay, I hear it now. – Jack, episode Queen of Jordan
User avatar
Vivia
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:11 pm
Location: Stockholm, long nights


Re: Film Nest

Postby SIngemeister » Sun Nov 24, 2013 2:26 am

Vivia wrote:I start with the great Cinema Snob, Brad Jones: http://www.thecinemasnob.com/


May I request a high-five?

To join in, I will post one of my favourite reviewers of TGWTG: Ralph Oancitizen/Kyle Kallgren of Brows Held High, and two of my favourite reviews of his, Vase de Noces, the Pig luvvin' movie and Trash Humpers
User avatar
SIngemeister
 
Posts: 448
Joined: Wed Oct 03, 2012 12:49 am
Location: Plymouth


Re: Film Nest

Postby Vivia » Mon Dec 16, 2013 2:57 pm

*high fives*

Not exactly a bad film but the comedy duo of French and Saunders have done many spoofs of famous films, exposing their badness before it became the norm, Star Wars anyone?
Are you gonna do the accent?

Bad Movie Beatdown:

Seraphim Falls - Be afraid of water, damn it! Another one with Brosnan trying and sort failing with his accent.

Moon 44 - Malcolm McDowell in space, the scent of the 80s is palpable. Over the top acting? Yes. Reading in space? Yes. Prison fights? Yes.

Mega Piranha - Piranhas and their terrible assassination attempts. Forget dead fish, these are rigor mortis fish stuffed with wood.
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. "Oh, the men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls..." Okay, I hear it now. – Jack, episode Queen of Jordan
User avatar
Vivia
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:11 pm
Location: Stockholm, long nights


Re: Film Nest

Postby Vivia » Sun Dec 22, 2013 2:56 pm

The Cinema Snob's annual Christmas episode.

Silent Night Deadly Night. "Creepy Santa is a tradition as old as time."

Phelous has a Christmas episode.

The Gingerdead Man. A film about a ginger bread murderer, let that sink in.
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. "Oh, the men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls..." Okay, I hear it now. – Jack, episode Queen of Jordan
User avatar
Vivia
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:11 pm
Location: Stockholm, long nights


Re: Film Nest

Postby Vivia » Mon Jan 27, 2014 9:47 pm

Agent 007 has been a theme this winter here on the forum. Mystery Science Theater 3000 did a few of the rip-offs from the sixties, Secret Agent Super Dragon, Ok Connery (with Neil Connery), Agent for H.A.R.M and Diabolik. Ok, Connery is a total cash-in of the franchise, it stars Sean Connery's brother, Neil as himself and he is a doctor. It has some really bad and campy stuff sixties style. Well, they all do and so did the Bond films.

Operation Double 007/Ok Connery, the film has many titles. Check the IMDB entry, here, "Operation Kid Brother - Is Too Much For One Mother". :)
Agent for H.A.R.M
Diabolik
There is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. "Oh, the men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls..." Okay, I hear it now. – Jack, episode Queen of Jordan
User avatar
Vivia
 
Posts: 3808
Joined: Sat Jul 23, 2011 12:11 pm
Location: Stockholm, long nights

Next

Return to Board index

Return to Insanely Off Topic

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests