How are we?

[sam vimes]

I meant keep tagging me in stuff, and when I once responded very calmly asking not to be tagged in stuff and for saying im an atheist the sheer amount of hate I got for saying look "I don't believe and what can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence." it was staggering the amount childish outrage I got for having a view contrary to theres was infurating I walked away after saying that last thing as I'm willing to listen to another view point so long as you've got some sort of falsifiable evidence to back it up, if you don't then "What can be asserted without evidence can be dismissed without evidence." simple as the bit that galls me the most is not the tagging per se (they rarely show up properly in my emails) it was the fallout for having a separate view point to theirs its as if there raised to not question certain things... oh wait.

I could go on but the more and more I get for all intents and purposes screamed at for following my own moral code separate to a world wide set of cults that has an awful lot of blood on its hands and has been poisoned beyond worth imo by human flaws and has been used to excuse an awful lot of horrid acts the more I walk away from them, don't apologise for the acts of others JDD my post was made after a long tiring day and seeing people feel like they were actually doing something to fix problems by simply praying really wound me up I need to stay away from religious types on social media as when the stupider elements call me (an atheist) a devil worshiper I sigh deeply and face palm and walk away.... most of the time.

[J D Dunsany]

@ Sam: Venting that frustration is never a bad thing and here's as good a place to do it as any.

Your experience does kind of reinforce what we've been saying about the nature of social media, though. The ease with which you can comment, the quickness with which that ingrained respect for your fellow human being can break down without the visual cues of face to face conversation - it can all be very wearing. You have my sympathy.

As for me, well, I'm laughing more than I have for ages. I think it's a combination of knowing that the academic year is about to end and also having the time to appreciate the people around me and recognise that (if I'm not being too precious) their presence in my life is not incidental but vital and positive. I've been far too guilty of taking people for granted this year and the last couple of weeks have provided me with opportunities to recognise how important the experiences and thoughts of others are in their own right. It's been good. Humbling, but good.

JDD

[sam vimes]

In regards to social media I feel like screaming at people stfu moaning about your problem and instead DO something about it by all means vent if needed but end of the day the only person who can do something about the problem is you ny sticking your hand up and going I need help I know I know far easier said then done.

[Xisor]

As for me, well, I'm laughing more than I have for ages.

Now that is heartening to hear!

Myself, I fear I've slid to the wrong side of ill-discipline without quite recognising it. So I think it'll be small steps from me, but it gives a focus.

Also, if my leg would heal (very minor surgery last week), I could get back to... aspiring to anot active lifestyle.

In the meantime? I'll just have to keep watching S2 The Next Generation.

[sam vimes]

Laughing at russel brand with the armoured skeptic, russel your an idiot please don't change

[sam vimes]

A touch down, I work in a work force of around 80% females and 20% guys and today after making a misjudgment and correcting myself and another person I was struck by the sheer nastiness of her and all through the day I was for once paying attention to the ladies and there topics of conversation, invariably reality tv and soaps popped up but what really caught my ear was the sheer venom and spite they would come out with about fellow colleagues, that they work with and had even gone out on the piss with and work trips also i really could not wrap my head around the fact that they would cheerfully call other colleagues men and women behind there backs but would be nice as pie to there faces and again the two-facedness just got me down, its often said men are bad as people, in my opinion women are far far worse in this regard please bear in mind I've worked with most of these people for five years and I've over heard this sort of venom before but only really paid attention to it today.

[Therion]

A touch down, I work in a work force of around 80% females and 20% guys and today after making a misjudgment and correcting myself and another person I was struck by the sheer nastiness of her and all through the day I was for once paying attention to the ladies and there topics of conversation, invariably reality tv and soaps popped up but what really caught my ear was the sheer venom and spite they would come out with about fellow colleagues, that they work with and had even gone out on the piss with and work trips also i really could not wrap my head around the fact that they would cheerfully call other colleagues men and women behind there backs but would be nice as pie to there faces and again the two-facedness just got me down, its often said men are bad as people, in my opinion women are far far worse in this regard please bear in mind I've worked with most of these people for five years and I've over heard this sort of venom before but only really paid attention to it today.

It's probably because Extroverted Feeling users (FJ types) are over-represented among females, while Extroverted Thinking (TJ types) users are over-represented among males. IIRC two-facedness was one of negative traits of Extroverted Feeling.
http://www.mypersonality.info/personali ... on-gender/

[Xisor]

I'm inclined to suppose it's a different thing altogether, but that reminds me of something else I've noticed of late.

I dabbled about in the myers Brigg stuff. It's not too reload these days (last I read you really want a big five measurement - https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Big_Fiv ... ity_traits ).

What struck me with the M-B stuff us how... binary it is. I or E, J or P. Whilst the final conclusions are interesting, they don't tell you much about whether the clusters are accurate, or how much overlap there is, or indeed how orthogonal the four measures (and eight named traits) actually are.

Then I was struck by the shock of it all. Despite knowing all the flaws,I'd been rather taken with being described as an INTP. The Architect. Struggles with tedious details, all about the big picture, struggles to get other leoe to agree about what constitutes a sensible attitude and perspective. That sort.

But then I realised that doesn't capture it at all. One of my defining features, after a fashion, has always been a tendency to... bicker. Over details. And principles. Or anything. A rejection of authority - not because I definitely know better, or am just confident and that's that, but because I like to dissect things folk articulate. It's a nuisance in conversation. But to be... argumentative. And that I find I think better if I argue it out, I can reason myself (and others) into a different, ideally better way by having a long argument about it rather than just sitting and having a quiet think.

Then it struck me - what about the borders?

Then I realised I identify very strongly with the ENTP too. But neither of them exclusively or to such a degree as to ignore the other.

That reminded me that psychometrics is still in its infancy and isn't up to a huge amount. Especially not the M-B stuff, even if it's a useful tool for thinking about personality and a very handy approximation. It isn't at all the best we have.

[Major Rawne]

I'm super duper! Just got a promotion at work so I'm no longer a junior. Woohoo!

[sam vimes]

Feeling pretty good helping cheer my friend up who has Dissociative identity disorder and apparently according to her I'm good at helping her deal with it in some way I'll share two messages I sent to her give me your thoughts if you like I jut say what I feel and do what I can to help a friend:

"So long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other you will never be alone, it is stagnation and retreating from an issue that causes harm, facing the very thing that scares you most will hurt you and yes of course scare you but standing to and meeting it head on will always be better than turning from it, I don't care how big and tough you are ain't nothing gonna hit as hard as life it will beat you till your on your knees, but once there you've only got one option and thats to get up and hit back twice as hard, your life is precisely that YOURS its up to you to make it a master piece, you are the author, painter, director you and you alone must write the good chapters along with the bad, paint the right colours into your artwork, shoot the scenes the way you want them to turn out and as you do this others will walk with you and you with them and bit by bit you will see how there a part of your story your painting your film and you a part of theres, and together we all make our lives worthy not for the sake of purely others but for the sake of ourselves and our own legacies"

"Memories can be lost I am hard pressed to recall some of my memories, but I know that I can make new ones yes you have lost certain memories, cherished ones I am guessing but you can either accept the loss and let it go or you can hold on to that hurt and trauma caused by loss a cold answer I know but that really is the only way to start making new lasting ones, the forgetfulness the only solution I can think of for that is carry a notebook and write in what you are going to do for the day and carry it with you, read back what you have planned for the day use words or tick off what you have done and what you need to do xx"

[Pyroriffic]

Not bad. I submitted a job application last night that could be a Good Move if it goes anywhere.

[Rob P]

Getting fed up with social media to the extent that I've deleted my accounts for facebook, twitter and wordpress.

[Xisor]

Getting fed up with social media to the extent that I've deleted my accounts for facebook, twitter and wordpress.

Right, back to the debater's lounge with you, after some time. Also, let me know how you get on with it - I confess I am curious about it. And how you'll perceive the fallout of it.

Good luck, in any event.

[Major Rawne]

Getting fed up with social media to the extent that I've deleted my accounts for facebook, twitter and wordpress.

But who can I now send cat pictures too expressing my secret love for them.

[Rob P]

Right, back to the debater's lounge with you, after some time. Also, let me know how you get on with it - I confess I am curious about it. And how you'll perceive the fallout of it.

Good luck, in any event.

Cheers. Not got much intention of going back. There is no specific incident, rather a culmination of nonsense from all quarters. Might post something in Debater's Lounge but it'd just be disjointed waffle (What's new!).

But who can I now send cat pictures too expressing my secret love for them.

@felinefreq (I think it is)

[Xisor]

There is no specific incident, rather a culmination of nonsense from all quarters.

I took a slightly similar approach after a few things.

Left a lot of the groups in quick succession after realising that they were just a bit... toxic. For my mindset, at least. Mutually toxic, perhaps. What I wanted to say simply wasn't what was welcome, and not being able to voice/discuss/air that without simply whinging was wearing at me.

I valued my life in 'the bubble' at Uni, and by rights should have worked harder to stay there. Now I'm on the outside with everyone else... and I don't want to be. More, I don't have any intention of changing to suit people. So I think my only choice is a degree of (more) seclusion in the meantime.

At least for the time being, anyway. Isolate myself in some respects and put more effort into a more particular set of interactions. Maybe not the whole 'withdraw from everything', but a lot of it. I logged out of The First Expedition on similar reasons.

Properly turning the Bolthole into a bolthole though. As long as it isn't proper sanity lost like Sanity Lost...

[Vivia]

Getting fed up with social media to the extent that I've deleted my accounts for facebook, twitter and wordpress.

Congrats! I have no doubt it will only be a good thing.

I'm thinking of leaving FB,it fills no purpose whatsover other than looking at rabbit photos. Twitter is next, it triggers my anxiety in odd ways which results in a most hideous ennui. I recently got into Instagram and I'm already burned out from watching close-ups of lip make-up. The ultimate emptiness.
Social media gives me the impression of a man-made prison. Another one.

[Pyroriffic]

Not bad. I submitted a job application last night that could be a Good Move if it goes anywhere.

Have an interview for said job on Monday!

[Rob P]

Good luck! Hope it goes as well as it can.

[Pyroriffic]

Well, I didn't get the job. I was the ever-annoying 'very close second'.

It was a bit of a longshot to tell the truth, so coming in second place (and yes, there WERE more than two interviewees!) was quite positive. The interview feedback itself was all very good, so I'll try to brush off the bitter sting of disappointment and move forward with that.